Blessed Christmas

Blessed Christmas to each and everyone of you ..... whenever you are i sincerely hope this year Christmas will bring you closer to God & time of reconciliation with our Lord.

It's sadden to see many are celebrating Christmas without knowing the meaning. Christmas isn't about drinking till you are drunk or merely gifts exchange ... it's more than that. Christmas is all about Jesus who chose to die for us because of the unconditional love He has for us.

Take time to ponder about this great love and may you find the truth to it.

Cheers .....

L

Mfg Annual Dinner

Every year there will be a grand annual dinner for every department in my company. And to spice up the dinner, normally the organizing committee will come up with the theme of the night and all of us will panic looking for dresses ... mix and match whatever we can find in the wardrobe !

This year is my 4th year joining Mfg Annual Dinner and let's see my dressing since 1st year ....

1st year theme :- Traditional Nite and i wore a saree

2nd year :- Retro Nite??!! I dunno what to wear so simply grab something and off i went for the dinner

3rd year :- Elegant Nite and to be happened i was the advisor of the function.

And this year ... Red and Black (R&B) and i wore a modern cheongsam which is conservative at the front but jaw dropping when u stand behind me :)

When i take a good look at these photos ... i realised i have aged ... aged beautifully and gracefully ... thank God for the youthful look i have ... AMEN AMEN

L

Never be this kind of boss

It's actually very easy to make me piss with my job and eventually leave the department or organization. And how can you do it? Well, all you need to do is have below attitudes and rest assured you won't see me long enough to make my life any hell further ...

1) Power crazy as in hold on to your power and refuse to trust your subordinates. In short, don't know or REFUSE to delegate.

2) Inconsistent with your directions. All directions are meant to suit your taste and mood of the day.

3) Scrutinize everything to the dot as if like your subordinates are dumb. In short, petty minded.

4) Jumpy when issue arise instead of being calm and giving good advice. This indirectly giving your subordinates unnecessary pressure.

5) Not showing supportive body language but keep on singing how supportive you are.

As am writing this, am being reminded NOT to have above attitudes as i myself is a boss to a pool of people. And i don't mind to be knocked on my head should i possess above attitudes. It's really not easy to re-train new employees and my bets are on RETAIN old employees and believing in them.

P/S : Btw, above writing is not meant to target anyone but serve as a reminder .....

L

RGBC Church Camp 2010

I always look ahead for church camp coz that's the only time where i get to chill out and get to know the other side of everyone in church. Normally during church everyone seem to be very formal and serious.

I've started to attend RGBC camp since 10yrs ago and i enjoyed myself everytime without fail. And all our camps were outside from Penang Island.

This year camp was held at Harvard Jerai, Gurun and the drive was about 1hr from Penang.

The theme supposedly to be "Intentional Discipleship" but it turned out to be "Hearing from God" which is a timely message for the church.

I enjoyed every moment of this camp and there are few hilites during the 3D 2N stays :-

1) Can't believe the seniors in my church can "really" run and pretty rough when comes to sports. They will jump & snatch the ball to your amazement.

2) My room was being labeled as one of the noisiest room and people still knocked on our door to join the choas after midnite .. but sorry, i ignored the knock :P

3) Had my good friend sleeping next to me and we had cats fight almost every hour !

The list can go and on coz it's just a wonderful camp that thank God i didn't missed. One thing that i take home with me is, We are all a family in Christ and we are to live and die for each other .... AMEN !!

P/S :- For the camp photos, please visit my FB.

L

Flu season

My friend - "Flu" visited me 2 days ago and until now still refuse to leave. Because of my friend, i've been sneezing my head off and as am writing this, am still struggling with it.

Everywhere you go, people either sneezing or coughing and for many freak out there, they will be either wearing face mask or looking at you with a killer look once you start to sneeze or cough.

Hmnnnn ... how fragile and fearful people are with diseases nowadays. Don't they know our days are numbered by God? If it's your expirary day, mask or no mask off you go.

I hope my readers are well and not down with flu like me. Gotta drink lotsa water ... no heaty food and push down fruits to your throat baby !!

Ahhhhh chewwwww .. *sniff sniff*

L

Deeper in love

As i was searching for a song to upload in my blog, i came across this wonderful song - Take me deeper.

As i walked thru the lyric i can't help but to wonder how it feels like to be really deeper in love with Jesus. I mean i love Jesus very much but further deeper will be how? No doubt my love for Jesus grows everyday and more than anything or anyone.

Because of my love for Jesus, i gave up a lot of things and people. I choose to do it not because am obligated but because i love Jesus. Many people ... really many people always ask and wonder why am still single and is it because am picky? I used to deny that coz i never thought i was picky but again when i was asked 1 month back .... i ponder and asked God.

The answer is YES, am picky. I'm picky because i only will consider good Christians as my man and that's the "entry" criteria. I need my man not to only love Jesus but has to be deeper in love with Him. My man has to be able to long for Jesus like the lyric below.

Many may not understand why it has to be like this but i do know when you love Jesus whole heartedly, you'll understand ....

Come ... let's sing along with me ....

There is a longing only You can fill

A raging temptest only You can still

My soul is thirsty Lord

To know You as I'm known

Drink from the river

That flows before your throne

Take me deeper

Deeper in love with You
Jesus hold me close in Your embrace

Take me deeper

Deeper than I've ever been before

I just want to love You more and more

How I long to be deeper in love

Sunrise to sunrise

I will seek Your face

Drawn by the Spirit

To the promise of Your grace

My heart has found in You

A hope that will abide

Here in Your presence

Forever satisfied

L

So sorry

Gosh ... am really useless. I've been neglecting this site for so long .. the last i blogged was like i dunno ... 1 month back???

Sigh .... everytime when i have something to talk about, i'll be busy like a bee. When am free, i'll either moodless or lost my thoughts.

Hmnnnn ... i promise to blog more after this and not now coz i want to go home and sleep. Been working since morning until now.

L

Dead tired

I'm just so tired both mentally & physically ....

But i won't quit !

L

A call that i'll remember for life

My eldest bro was admitted to hospital late last night. He had to be sent to hospital using ambulance as he was too weak to even walk.

He was alright before this but since yesterday morning, he started to vomit each time he ate and after dinner his situation got worst.

He was treated at emergency ward and intially suspected he has swollen brain. But after his MRI & CT scans result out, his brain is normal.

Then the doctor told us to go home because it was already 3am and his condition was stable.

At 5am, my parents rushed to my room and dad went hysterical. A caretaker called my dad and said my bro's condition got worst and we must be in hospital the soonest we can to see him for the last time.

As dad could not drive, i had to take over the wheel. I thank God i was very calm & composed and was planning in my mind what to do next and etc as i knew my parents & sis cannot make any decision at that moment.

When dad & myself arrived at bro's ward, all the nurses were surprised to see us and i was busy looking at my bro. Guess what?? He was sleeping !!!

The next thing i did, i asked my dad to give me the caretaker's phone and i called him. You know what he said? HE CALLED THE WRONG FAMILY !!!

He is so lucky that he was not in front of us. Else i would have grab a chair and whack his shits out from him.

Becoz of that stupid call, my dad & sis cried like nobody's business and this hurt us as a family very much.

Really really stupid call that i'll remember for life.

Btw, as am writing this ... my bro is still at hospital & Dr is still working to help treating him. We do not know what's wrong with him yet ;( .... but we do know God is in control.

L

Mid Year Stock Check

Goodness me ... am like 9 days shy from my usual mid year stock check. I seriously can't believe that time flies like nobody's business.

So, what have happened for the past 6 months huh?

Hmnn ... let me see ...

Hmnn ... nothing much for the past 6 months ... it's more like 6 months of preparation for the next coming 6 months of 2010 !

Why do i say that?

Well, for the past 6 months, i used to enjoy the calmness & flexibility of my job but ever since beginning of this month, i slowly can sense the opposites which something am not in favour with. Well, am not going to blog much about my job YET but the time will come when i need to just let it out thru this blog.

Other that my job, the last 6 months has been great months to see the growing progress of Tristan. From being a 2 months old baby when he first came, now he is 8 months old. I have had great opportunities to care for him like a mother ... woke up middle of the night, rushing to kitchen to make milk in less than 10 seconds, bathed him, cleaned him, watching him sleep, cut his fingernails and so many other things. All these are great things that $$ cannot buy & i truly thank God for this opportunity.

I only went once for mission trip for the last 6 months and looking forward for another one this coming Oct. I just want to be closer to God in any possible way i can. Work has been robbing a lot of time due to the inflexibility & odd working hours but i know God is preparing me for a greater things.

As i'm sitting down now looking back the last 6 months, i can only give thanks to God. God showed me alot the last 6 months & i know He will bring to completion the things & desires that He put in my heart by this year. In the last 6 months, God again removed things & people that are not supposed to be in the way & He added few more things & people that i believe it's meant to bless and encourage me.

I'm being reminded right now with the message i preached during my mission trip to Sabah. I preached from the book of Hebrew 12 which basically telling all of us to keep on running the race of life & fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author of our salvation. Yeah ... am running my 2010 race right now and am already in the middle of the race. 6 more months to end 2010 and i want to end it with high note in my spirit.

How about you?

Have your race been smooth for the past 6 months?

Are you tired?

Are you giving up?

Or are you equally excited as i am to see what God has restored for us in the next 6 months?

Come ... let's run this race together & fix our focus on Jesus !

L

Fever .... world cup fever

Every 4 years i will have severe fever .... which is football fever.

Not that i play football but watching the games is good enough to make my blood pump so high that i will go jumping around.

So far, few matches caught my attention very much :- Germany vs Serbia where i bang the table at my workplace canteen so loud when Germany missed the golden penalty. South Korea vs Uruguay left me feeling so sad for the Koreans as they did their best but still not good enough to win the match. And just now, Germany vs England was really good .... it was so good coz Germany trashed England :P :P

I don't know what's going to happen when Argentina meeting Germany. Both are my favourites but looking at the strategies and all the matches so far, i think Argentina has better chance to win.

World Cup is also a season where i get to spend a lot of time with dad. Dad and myself will argue on which team going to win ... Dad will wakes me up when i could not wake up to watch the 2.30am match and he even will call to update me when he knows i cannot watch certain matches due to other commitment.

Haiz ... don't you think World Cup is great??

So, to my two teams :- Argentina & Germany --> GO GO GO BABY .. YOU GUYS CAN DO IT !!

L

Father's Day

Last Sunday was Father's Day and as usual we celebrated it with dad.

Dad decided to take us to dine at a Thai Muslim restaurant located at Tg. Tokong. It was our 3rd time there and it's one of dad's favourite dining place.

Talking about where to find good food, dad is excellent and i thank God i have this trait from him. The food that night was excellent ... we ordered seafood tomyam, telur dadar, kankung with salted fish & honey roasted chicken.

Eating together as a family is always good for me. I've negleted this opportunities many years back and i thank God that i still have this opportunity to do so.

As i was celebrating Father's Day with dad, i was reminded of friends and even cousin sister of mine where their dad has passed away. I'm indeed blessed to have both my parents around me and in pink of health. God is really gracious, merciful & kind to my family.

To my dad :- Happy Father's Day & love you to bits even though at times you can be a pain in my butt :P :P

To my heavenly Father :- Happy Father's Day & thank You for loving me since the day You created me. You are simply the best & i love You realllyyyy alot.

L

They came back ...

Very happy coz bro & sis in law came back over the weekend after didn't see them for like 2 months.

And not only me happy but everyone are very happy especially Dad. Tristan was very distance when his mum hold him but after he warmed up, things were totally different. And both bro & sis in law are equally happy to see their son grown so much.

I would say this short trip from them are very fruitful this time. We managed to do things together MORE compared to previously as we kept it among the family members minus distraction from others.

We managed to bring Tristan for his swim as well and boy ... that little Prince was such a darling in the pool ... looking amazingly at the water and things around him. And i can see the twinkle of joy in bro's and sis in law's eyes when they played with Tristan.

Time flies very fast and Tristan is already 7 months old .... and soon, he will be back to Singapore. Ahh, that thoughts itself will cause me to be melancholy so am not going to talk about it now. Will worry when the time comes :)

Hmnnn ... now bro & sis in law are back in SG and i miss them alot already. Wish they can be back more often :)

L

Durian season

Oh my oh my ... it's durian season now and am up for durian this time.

It's so funny that there were times when i don't even want to eat durian or i'll crave for it like crazy.

And now, am for sure craving for one !

Durian is king of all fruits simply because of the vitamins in it. The smell of durian is hell especially when someone burp after eating it but the moment u put the fruit in your mouth, it taste like heaven.

I'm very picky when comes to durian. My favourite is sweet & sticky durian with golden yellow color. Many people loves bitter durian but i don't know how to appreciate the bitterness. The durian that i want hard to comeby and normally will cause slightly expensive. Dad always complaint coz he had to go everywhere to look for this kind of durian for her troublesome daughter :P

Today, am blessed ! My staff gave me one durian from her own house and it's gonna be the 1st durian for me this season. I can't wait to go home and try it out ... yum yum.

L

Jeremiah 29:11

One of my favourite verses in the Bible is taken from Jeremiah 29:11 where the Lord says, "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"

This verse helped to pick me up when i was at the lowest pit of my life and it's a verse that keeps me going now.

Indeed our great Lord always have the best for us and the only hard part is the WAITING season. Oh God, how long still do i have to wait for You to fulfill that one thing in my heart?

I also know in this waiting season, God is bringing me to another level of faith in Him. While waiting i shall soar like an engle and be closed to Him.

God, You are forever great and thank You for your promise in Jer 29:11. I'm CLAIMING it by faith !

L

Teambuilding

Had my 1st ever teambuilding with my staffs last Sunday after skipping few teambuildings before this.

And it was held at Sg. Petani Carnivall Water Theme Park.

The journey was about 1hr drive from Penang Island and my 2nd time there.

I thank God for the excellent weather >> sunny and the wonderful people.

This teambuilding is very special for me personally coz it was the 1st time so many people turned up. Normally our teambuilding attendance was about 20% to 30%.

It brought so much satisfaction when i see the smiles from my staffs' faces and even from their children.

When i was driving back home from Sg Petani to Penang after the event, i just thank God for putting me in the midst of them.

I do agree my staffs can really upset me but at times they are also the ones that reminded me why Jesus died on the cross for me. It's all about love & forgiveness.

My staffs are my driving force to be a better manager everyday and i hope God will continue to use me to be His channel of blessings to my people.

L

17 years ...

Ah Maa, today is the 17th year since you left us .... but it's still very fresh in my memory.

It was 17 years ago exactly on Saturday about this time you decided to leave us. It was and still is very painful for me personally because you did NOT say goodbye. Not only you did not say goodbye but you FAILED to show any sign to us that you were about to leave us.

The night before, you still enjoyed steamboat dinner with cousins and you even told MF Chi Chi that it was your birthday that night. When Tua Ee fed you Milo at 3am, you refused to drink but you did NOT tell her that you wanted to leave us forever in the next few hours !

When mum rushed over to your bed side to see you slowly losing your breath, why didn't you open your eyes?

Ah Maa ... i still remember the week before, mum and me went to visit you and bought you chicken chop. As you were enjoying your meal i sat there looking at you without saying a word. And after you finished your meal, you walked to the fridge, took out grapes, passed to me and just smile. That was the last time i saw your smile ..

So, how are you doing now Ah Maa? Do you miss me? I bet you constantly think of me yeah coz i used to play cards with you, sat next to you to listen to all your stories and also made you angry with my cheeky acts.

Anyway Ah Maa ... don't you worry about me ... I'm doing really great now. The only thing missing in my life is you as you no longer with me to share my happiness. Remember how i used to buy you gifts each time i travelled for my tournaments? And your favourite was the blue purse i got for you ...

Each time when we talked about you at home, we will just laughed. But when am alone and the thoughts of you came to mind, tears just rolling down.

Oh ya Ah Maa ... do you know you have another great grandson? It's Ah Choon's son and his name is Tristan ... aiyoo .. if you still alive i believe you'll love him as much as we do. He is sooooo cheeky like us haha.

Haiz ... sometimes i just wonder why you have to leave us so early Ah Maa .... it will be fun to have you around me. I will feed you with alot alot of chicken chops and play cards with you till morning :)

You take good care ok? I always pray to God to be gracious to you Ah Maa and i REALLY hope to meet you again ... Until then, take to heart that i miss and love you very much. Be it 17 years or many years to come, you'll live in my heart.

Your notty granddaughter,
Ah Lin ....

Blessed Mother's Day

My family don't celebrate Mother's Day until hmnnn ... few years back out of the blue. In fact, we don't celebrate Father's Day as well but i guess as my parents aged we tend to celebrate everything every year.

We celebrated Mother's Day a day earlier this year as mum wanted to attend church celebration on the actual day.

As usual, we ate chu char --> so typical of my family, isn't it?

I bought mum a watch as well ....

Mum was very happy to receive the watch and immediately wore it for the lunch and that made me happy too.

Mum is the type that easily happy with anything you gave her and very easy to be pleased. She is slow to anger but as she grows older, she tend to be forgetful and yeah .. repeat and repeat the same old statement.

But mum is the best. She will do EVERYTHING for me and she can remember what i don't eat/like and what are my favourites. Mum will specially cooked chicken wings for me ... she will be extra careful when frying eggs for me just in case the yoke "burst" and so many other things ...

As i see mum getting older, i can't help but to have fear in me. I pray and pray to our great Lord to extend her life and grant her excellent health. At the same time i know if anything were to go wrong, mum is going to be safe in Jesus's arms but being a selfish daughter, i want mum to be at home and around me as long as possible.

And i thank God that mum is healthy, independent and loves the Lord very much.

L

Bad .. bad ... Badminton !!

I remember started to play badminton at the aged of 10 with my brother.

And when i was at the aged of 13, i did pretty well in both badminton & chess but i decided to go pro with chess instead of badminton (which i regretted till today).

But i never stopped playing & watching badminton as i just love it very much. I find myself letting go all the daily stress when am on court. I get to jump, run, scream and smash the shuttle like throwing punches :)

It's been many years i stopped going for tournaments until two years back. And it's really tough to be back on feet and be fit like last time. I do admit at times i get frustrated with myself for not being able to run up and down the court or at least dive in for the ball.

Last Fri i played for my department in our yearly sports carnival and it was hmnnn ... crazy. It was so crazy coz i played until both my legs cramped at the same time ! I have never experienced this before and gosh ... cramped BOTH legs at the SAME time is no joke.

And while i was struggling in pain, there was one gentleman walked over to me and asked "Do you need a CPR?" and i answered him, "Alloo ... it's my legs and i still can breathe, ok?" And he just walked away blushing while others just shook their heads and laughed.

Nice try young man but you are just so lame :)

L

Tristan's 1st hair cut

Mum and me took Tristan for his 1st hair cut on Monday ... after all mum needed to cut her hair and it was time for Tristan to have his hair done as well.

Tristan has curly hair like his Lows' relatives .. many didn't know my original hair is curly or curvy as i spent fortune to have my hair straighten. My siblings, aunties and uncles all are either curly or curvy and wow .. Tristan has it too :)

When Tristan was younger .. hmnnn about 1 month old, his hair was like mohawk style after shower coz it was short and hard but as the hair grew longer, it started to curl especially the sides and back of his hair.

Tristan was such a good boy at the hair saloon. He sat straight on mum's laps while me busy taking his photos. He will turn his head to the left when the hairdresser shave his right side hair and vice versa.

Haiz .. my baby Tristan is so handsome now after shaving his hair to bald :)

L

Busy lin busy me

Work is getting extremely demanding lately for God knows why ...

It's been awhile since i worked like this and i guess age is catching up. I used to have alot of energy to work non stop for 4 days but now by the end of day, i just so tired and want to sleep.

Endless issues came like volcano just erupted ... one after another one and all are super major as if like there's no tomorrow.

All in all, i'm being reminded in book of Jer 29:11 that God always think of me and His plans are to bring hope & not hurt.

This keep me going and yeah ... Lin is a busy bee handling all the nonsense but Lin is strong and find rest in Him alone.

L

Who am i ....

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt

Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind

Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea

Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

Sabah Mission Trip

We departed from Penang on the 22nd of March night after Airasia delayed the flight for about 2hrs. The journey from Penang to Sabah took us about 2.5hrs and we safely reached there past mid night.

The 1st person to greet us at the airport was Amanda's mum followed by Pastor Danny and his daughter. We were ushered to over night at one of the service apartments available in KK.

The mission started the next morning at about 9am. We travelled for 2hrs from KK to Ranau town before changing cars to go into the villages.

The 1st village that we entered was SIB Muruk.

The moment i came out from the car, i saw few women (ibu) busy cooking and with their smiles, they welcomed us. Immediately i felt at home and at peace. And soon, i found out that the only Pastor there is a female pastor and her name is Pastor Dorsey. She showed us our sleeping place but i was busy on lookout for toilets coz toilets are VERY important to me.

I was given the "honor" to start the ball rolling by Thom and Sis Surya to preach on that night. When i was up there preaching, in my spirit i sensed a very dry spirits among the believers. It's like it has become a routine for them to go church but it stops there. It was a struggle to preach there not that am nervous but the penetration of God's words are difficult. Spirit of chauvinism is very strong and the women are somehow subject to such authority.

Nonetheless, i had a great time there coz the toilets are clean and i enjoyed the warmness of the women there. Pastor Dorsey caught my attention very much and i feel for her personally.

The next morning, we travelled to our 2nd village, SIB Sigindai Baru.

We were again greeted by a bunch of ibu and soon the "Ketua Sidang" came and joined us. In this village, i struggled abit coz of the toilet. At first, i volunteered to bathe first and after 5mins, someone knocked my door asking to come in then after the next min another person and to cut the story short, we have total of 6 ladies in one tiny bathroom/washing place. Don't get me wrong, we didn't bathed naked but we have our "sarong" on. It was really funny and i think we laughed more than we bathed. Some even accidentally tied wrongly their sarong and exposed things that they should not :)

Dinner time was a challenge for us coz in my life, i have never seen so much insects flying around. Things got worst coz we were depending on generator for electricity and gosh ... i cannot describe my feeling when i saw so much insects swimming inside the soup. But what the heck we had to eat it anyway.

Sis Surya was preaching on that night and it wasn't easy for her as well. She felt something in her spirit and during altar call, deliverance took place. God moved and we started to sense it.

And yeah ... in this village i started to become so uncivilized that i actually PEE in the bushes ! I can't believe i actually did that but i was forced by Sis Surya. I'm dead serious .. SHE FORCED ME. I felt so ashamed of myself for doing that ... GOSH !!

We left the next morning to our 3rd village which is my favourite - SIB Matupang

Why is it my favourite? Hmnnn .. so many reasons. 1st the host is extremely friendly, 2ndly the house and yeah the TOILETS are clean, 3rdly i get to "gamble" hahahaah and so many more reasons.

In this village also we had the experience to wash clothes by the riverside. This village is so well planned whereby opposite our host house are clinic and school. Everything is just perfect for this village. Ibu Juli is our Ketua Sidang's wife and she cooked for us. The moment i saw her i have grown attached to her which i don't know why. Her simple nature reminded me of my mum back at home.

God taught me a very expensive lesson in this village that i will never forget for a very long time --> NEVER EVER to rush God. I made a stupid mistake in my preaching that night coz of time constraint ... i said things that i should not and i did not pay attention to what was being spoken from God thru my spirit. It was a hell feeling for me and i nearly broke down in tears coz that mistake was a No No for a preacher.

That night during debriefing, i said what i needed to say so that i will not hold anything against anyone. My spirit and focus has to be right so that i can serve with the right heart.

I started to feel the difficulty to bid farewell when we left the next day. It was ok for the 1st two villages but not so for this one. I started to tears when i hugged Ibu Juli and it was crazy. I mean how can i acted in this way after only spending one night there? It's amazing how love can touch our hearts in this manner.

The 4th village is SIB Bunakong.

Wow ... to enter this village you must have a STRONG heart. I repeat STRONG heart. We had to crossed over one deep river using the suspension bridge which to my horror has broken woods everywhere and super long bridge. It was very scary for me and Sis Surya made it worst for me coz she was literally holding on to my backpack when we walked on the suspension bridge. I don't mind dying for the Lord but NOT in this way ... i seriously cannot imagine what will happen if the bridge suddenly snap off when we are half way thru :(

And not only that, we had to walk and hiked as well. But i love the hiked coz it reminded me of Nepal when i had to hike for 7hrs long ! And tadaaa .. the bathing area was crazy. Initially, it was open space but i guess the villagers knew we could not take it so they were kind enough to put up a big plastic cover around it for us. And yea ... once again we had to wear our sarong to bathe on top of the hill at 5am in the dark !

Preaching on that night again was a struggle for Sis Surya. The stronghold of that village is wow .. very strong. Their ex-leader backslided and stays next to the church so can u imagine what kind of spirit is going on around that village? The people in this village is rather strange. I don't know how to describe it coz all these involve spiritual realm. My only prayer for this village is for them to be set free by our dear Lord.

In this village, i had a bad sleeping experience thanks to Thom. Thom was initially sleeping outside of the house whereas the four of us slept in the hall. Middle of the night, i heard very noisy sound and when i turned to my right, i saw one dark figure kneeling down and starring at me. I got the shock of my life coz i thot it was a ghost. But when i looked at the black figure again, gosh ... it's THOM !! From outside he sneaked in and he was trying to kill some insects for us :) BUT he scared the shit out from me ....

We travelled again the next day to our 5th village - SIB Nunuk Ragang

Oh wow ... this village i like .. i like. Everything is good about this village but it was horror at night. Mosquitoes were ALOT and i got the bites like crazy but i guess i was too tired and not aware of it until the next morning when i looked at my legs and hands :)

And yea ... the only Pastor in this church is also a lady pastor and her name is Pastor Rissah. The moment i saw her i like her immediately coz she gave me the impression she is so modern. She was wearing a jeans jacket in the middle of the hot sun :) and her smile captivated my heart.

God indeed was and is very gracious to this village. When i was in Bunakong that morning before i travelled to this village, God spoke to me to change my sermon. I was actually struggling and trying to negotiate with God but at last i gave in and prepared a different sermon based on what God wants.

That night when i was preaching again in my spirit i felt an ignorance spirit in that church. And the message was timely coz i spoke about condition of our hearts that determine how we respond to God's words. And during alter call, i walked over to Pastor Rissah to pray for her even she did not walk to the front to receive prayer. The moment i stood beside her, she just let go and started to tears like water oozing out from dam. She does not need to tell me what happened in that church but i knew it in my spirit. Being a single lady pastor and serving in an ignorant church .. who will not break down?

I left this village with a very heart coz i knew Pastor Rissah needed support and prayers.

The 6th village or the most happening village - Miruru

Haha .. this village is really FUN. The villagers are good, fun and crazy people. I love them very very much !!

This village served us with excellent food ... oh man ... i got to eat my favourites - EGG, Chicken claws and MILK !!

And the villagers were so so supportive .. so many came to see us and to be served by us. They made a super long queue and shook our hands which really melted my heart. It was good boost up for me to preach better on that night and wow ... it was really beyond words how God moved that night. People just respond to the words and after the service .. we DANCED. Yeah .. we danced and ahhh ... i had to come out from my comfort zone coz dancing is a no no for me.

The next day, i knew the villagers wanted to keep us long enough so we were taken to bathe and wash at nearby river. Ahhh ... i love the river and people of Miruru. They are simply amazing and so warm !! And we left pretty late that day to our 7th village.

The 7th village - Paus

On the way to Paus, we stopped by Nunuk Ragang again to change to 'better" vehicle coz of the road condition. At there, once again i saw Pastor Rissah and hugged her before we left.

It was very challenging for me in this village mainly because of the toilet. I think by now you can tell how particular i am when comes to toilet coz that place is the last i'll go before i sleep and the 1st i'll go when i wake up. The one and only toilet in Paus is yellow in color and the sight of it was totally unbearable. And the bathroom has no door and again we had to bathe using sarong with the presence of lotsa kids :(

In this village, i decided to cut down my food by 50% coz i know i will NOT walk into the toilet no matter what. And i had to go to bushes AGAIN to pee and that was really crazy. I hate it when i have to do that ... so so uncivilized of me.

This village has alot of kids where i don't know where they came from. And crowd control was harder than previous village. Nonetheless, i thank God i don't have anything to do with the kids :)

And ya ... i don't think i want to go back to this village ever again unless they clean the poor toilet and change the toilet bowl for goodness sake.

I personally can't wait to leave coz i need to clear my stomach badly. And we went to the 8th village in the afternoon.

The 8th village was SIB Tinanom

I love the traveling experience from Paus to Tinanom coz i got the chance to stand behind a jeep while the jeep traveling so fast up and down the hill ... I was very happy and delighted like a small kid :)

1st thing i asked when i arrived at that village was, "Mana toilet ya?" coz i just want to shit badly.

But to my dissapointment, the toilet bowl color was about the same and immediately my system shut down and i don't have the desire to go toilet at all after that. And yeah .. we had to bathe in the river coz there was no bathroom.

Bathing in river was not that bad at all except murky water and have to be careful with our sarongs just in case it drops down while busying washing our hair. I immediately took the opportunity to wash my clothes and let it dry under the super hot sun and in less than 10mins, my skin all got burnt and i look like the locals. In this village also i cut down my food consumption coz it's been two days since i went to toilet.

There was something about this village that made Sis Surya and myself very uncomfortable. I actually sensed it the moment i arrived but i kept it to myself. But during prayer time before the service started, Sis Surya mentioned something which i knew instantly in my spirit that this village has a strong bondage. And in my heart, i knew i had to change my sermon again at that particular point of time. So, i talked to Sis Surya and Thom about it and they agreed i should just follow what the Holy Spirit is telling me.

That night, i felt very different from all the nights i preached before. I find words just came out from my mouth like a knife poking the hearts of the villagers. I can't stop and it just went on and on and on to the point where i had to apologize if i ever hurt anyone. And there was a point where i nearly tears when i preached coz my heart was very burdened and heavy. I can sensed their dryness and their spirits that wanted to jump out and hold on to our dear Lord.

I thot that's it. They are gonna hate us and will never invite us back. But to my amazement, they actually asked for additional service the next morning and they want to hear more from God. This is the only village we had 2 services. Blessed are SIB Tinanom. Thom took the pulpit the next morning and it was all good ... too good to the extend some of the villagers followed us to our 9th village to hear more sermon.

Our 9th and last village - SIB Kebuh Baru

This is the most educated and modern village out of the other 8. Most of the people there are educated and mostly are teachers. We were all so blessed when we saw COKE and F&N Orange. Not that we never tasted it but i tell you, the feeling was beyond description. We did not get any cold drinks for so many days and ya ... one sip of Coke made the day for many of us.

The "Ketua Sidang" knows RGBC very well coz it seems like many years ago, he used to attend and served in RGBC. Wow .. what a small world huh.

The church comprises of small group of believers but by faith, this church will grow. We were blessed with 5 stars toilet .. i mean it seriously. The moment i saw the toilet, i asked for tissue from Jessica coz my system started to operate and praise the Lord, i managed to "let go" what needed to be let go after so many days.

The sleeping place was great ... the house ... the people ... all were excellent. I enjoyed my stay there despite a very brief time.

The next morning, we left to Ranau to go back to KK as our mission trip has ended. As we travel back, i was having mixed emotion. Part of me was excited to go home and the other part of me was sad. I missed so many of them and how i wish i can have more time with the villagers.

Bidding farewell to Pastor Markus who accompanied us the whole trip was indeed tough. To me, Pastor Markus is one of us and i don't like the feeling of leaving him behind eventhough i know this has to be done coz we are at the end of our mission trip. Too many things to say to him and i just couldn't find the right word. So, all i did was shook his great hand and looked away coz with me tearing like mad is good enough to make the situation worst.

So, what can i conclude from this mission trip?

Hmnnn ..... it's too amazing to put into words. Every single minute and little things, God was there with us be it we aware or not. This mission trip is very personal to me in many ways and God revealed so many things in me that i need to handle wisely. God showed to me how He can use anyone if that person is willing and i saw His mercy and grace upon His people.

My heart beats according to Jesus's and i felt the strong burden. I know and understand the pain and what perseverance means. And thru this mission trip, i learnt to ALWAYS ... ALWAYS rely on God and JUST DO IT.

And for the 1st time in my life, i actually enjoyed preaching from the pulpit !

L

Random things about ME & I

1) I especially love to multitask when I'm busy ... like now :)
2) I'm starting to lose interest in my job and don't see myself in corporate world for long
3) I love to drive very fast especially at night and early in the morning
4) When i like to eat something, i will continue to eat until am sick with it
5) I really wonder why i cannot sing like Whitney and play drum like a pro
6) It's so easy for me to become dark but take ages to become fair again
7) I always give the impression to others that am a mean person but i guess it takes one to know another one
8) I find myself constantly caring for the wrong person
9) I smile and laugh very often nowadays as i was told it's a "medicine" for the brokenhearted & brings joy to others
10) I need to change most of my clothes coz it's either too small or out of fashion

L

1st quarter stock check

Wow !! Time flies like a blink of an eye. And now we are moving into the 2nd quarter of the year babeh !!

1st three months gone and will never come back and how i wish time can move slower than now. 1st three months were busy and busy months for me due to so many things to do and i hardly spend good quality times with anyone ... oohh ... am a bad bad gal :( hmnnn ... i think the only one who got all my attention is my darling Tristan !! He is so good in snatching away my free time be it one minute (as am writing this entry .. he is next to me now)

So, how do i rate my 1st quarter of 2010? Hmnnn .... i would say it's a good start for this year despite all the challenges at work and personal life. Workplace is never a fun place to be but i know i have a reason to be there. Even if i can't make any changes but i know God put me there for a reason. I can see how evil and how blinded human can be & what can this world do to people who don't believe in true God. My reward comes solely from the Lord and God never failed in rewarding those that loves Him. I recently got a good increment - double blessings from the Lord and i know it's from Him coz the figures are ridiciously high. All praises to Him.

I also managed to go for an unplanned mission trip in Sabah and wow ... God is indeed a miracle God. He can use anyone to accomplish what He wants ... He can use anyone to send forth His words ... He can use anyone to show His love ... all we need to do is to be empty vessel and let Him use us and be blessed so that we can bless others.

All my struggles and heartaches were paid off and what else can i ask for since i was being blessed beyond imagination and words for the past 3 months?

L

I'm back

Folks !! I'm back from Sabah in one piece !!

So much to blog and talk about therefore please allow me some time to get my thoughts straight before i can pen down anything.

Arrived on Fri night (pull in a day earlier) as Airasia delayed my flight and i asked for a change ... and i got a day earlier instead ... PTL. Reached home & immediately unpacked as i can't stand the mess in my bagpack ... then straight to bed after a nice hot shower.

Slept straight 15hrs like a log .... and am still drowsy till today :(

Physically am darker than my usual skin color .. literally BLACK. Spiritually am stirred and still living in "unbeliefing" stage when i think back how God has used me in Sabah .... and mentally tired still.

Do stay tune for more updates on Sabah once i settle down ok ...

L

Upcoming mission trip

4 days time and am off to Sabah for my 1st mission trip in 2010 and the 3rd mission trip in my life.

Will depart from Penang International Airport slightly after 8pm and the journey should be about 2.5hrs. Coming back on the 3rd of April around morning.

Am i excited? Surprisingly the 'excitement' yet to kick in until now. Normally one week before mission trip, i'll be up jumping around but this time, me ain't feeling excited. Not sure why .. could be am still very busy with my work and didn't really focus my energy into thinking about this trip except preparing message to preach.

What to expect then if am not excited at all? Until now, i still cannot believe that i actually signed up for this trip. I just could not believe it. 2 weeks away from my Tristan & family, away from work during peak time and spending my 2 precious weeks with a bunch of challenging underaged gals that possibly suck my soul out in two days time?

God be gracious! All i want is to minister to the Sabahan and i want to do it with the right spirit.

Hmnnn ... me ain't going to think so much. Come what may .... Sabah, here i come :)

L

Baby Tristan turned 4 months old

Time flies really fast ... like a blink of an eye.

I still remember flying down to SG to see Baby Tristan when he was less than a month old. He was then very fragile, slept alot and poo countless time in a day.

He then travelled 10hrs long journey from SG to Penang 2.5 months ago when he was only slightly more than 1 month old .. very tiring isn't it?

Yesterday, Baby Tristan turned 4 months old .... and he is no longer that fragile, doesn't poo that much, don't really want to sleep that much anymore. He's a very happy and talkative baby but will shy away when he sees strangers.

He has grown to be so attached to me and nowadays he knows how to refuse to come down from my arms by holding on to my long hair or pulling my shirt. If i forced to put him down, he will start crying the very next minute ... sigh ... what a pampered baby !

I love my baby Tristan ....

L

Surprise birthday party

A group of us ALWAYS never failed to plan surprise birthday parties to the extend people kinda know it and we at the same time lost of ideas what to do ....

Last year we went to beach with a big banner to throw a surprise birthday party for our Miss Sunshine and this year we did it differently for her ... we went over to Reese's. In order not make Pei Sze suspect anything, she was told it's gonna be Reese's house warming and only a few people are invited ....

When i arrived at Reese's, basically none of us know how to surprise her and that's kinda lame, right? And as usual ... Linda Low is the think tanker in the group and i came out with an idea .... and it worked !!

It was a great nite all in all ... Mark was the chef ... the dishwasher and ya ... he even baked brownies for Pei Sze in replacement of our typical birthday cake.

The highlight of the nite i would say is where we sat down and started to share our hearts out something about Pei Sze that we love the most as an encouragement to her. Sin Yee got the ball rolling and it was really great to be able to tell Pei Sze in person how we feel about her. As typical Asian, we hardly share our feelings but that nite it was totally different. I guess there was a moment where our dear Pei Sze almost tears.

Pei Sze .. i know i've been saying this many times to you but i just want you to know i appreciate our friendship very much. I was there, is there and will always be there for you in many many years to come. Nothing can come in between our friendship and i know you will do well in everyhing your hand touches on. You go out there and kick some butts gal !

L